God doesn’t take away all of our sexual urges when we give our lives to Christ.
Thank God for that!
Problem is, like everything God made, the devil has a twist for it & pornography is a hellish one.
When I first became a Christian, I felt like I had been delivered forever of my deviant sexual nature.
I felt empowered & different.
And I was different.
When I walked down the street women looked different to me, they looked just like normal people, nice people, instead of objects created for the sole purpose of providing whatever pleasure satiates my palate at the time.
I know that sounds sexist… it was!
But, without God to guide my desires, that’s who I had become.
I had fed my mind for years on filthy magazines and movies.
And I was ashamed of it… as I should have been.
Thank God for Jesus!
My mind, heart, & spirit renewed in Christ.
What an awesome and triumphant day that was.
What I have found over the passage of the last 25+ years of my Christian walk, as we all understand, there are seasons to life.
One of the seasons that relentlessly returns, is temptation.
And it is something we will never escape as long as we live.
We must overcome it.
We all experience times of testing, which is normal for every human being. But God will be faithful to you. He will screen and filter the severity, nature, and timing of every test or trial you face so that you can bear it. And each test is an opportunity to trust him more, for along with every trial God has provided for you a way of escape that will bring you out of it victoriously.
1 Corinthians 10:13
The good news is, we can overcome it.
We do overcome it.
And we can lessen the severity & duration of it.
See, with any temptation we can take away its power when we begin to study it, and find out how it works.
“I have made a covenant with my eyes; Why then should I look upon a young woman?”
Job 31:1
Temptation doesn’t like to be understood.
It would rather remain a mystery that can’t be solved, then it keeps its power.
So, I have taken note of my own struggles and temptations over the years and compiled this list that has, in any way, helped me to hold fast to my faith while navigating the treacherous waters.
Let it be known that this is no light subject and I do believe that supernatural intervention from sincere prayer is the best strength and deliverance we must seek.
I’ve seen the train-wrecked marriages that pornography has destroyed and I can tell you, most times the men never thought it would lead to what it did.
“Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding;
Proverbs 6:32
He who does so destroys his own soul.”
I remember hearing one story of a marriage that was destroyed where the man committed adultery and he had a pornography problem which started by looking at the women’s underwear section in a Big W catalogue!
Now that would almost be funny if the outcome wasn’t so tragic.
So, here it is.
My offering that I pray helps in any small way.
Truly, it is a struggle that we, as men, must win.
This is not a battle we win once and then we can put our swords down and go have a sleep.
No!
This is daily putting on the armour of the Lord to protect & shield us from this destroyer overtaking our hearts & relationships.
Yes, seek God for strength…
But, there are also some things that I believe we can do, men, to help us stay pure & in complete faithfulness to our spouses.
- Be aware of triggers. What triggers certain feelings that lead to wanting to look at porn?
- Stay off computers & phones where possible late at night or when tired.
- Know that when you’re tired you have far less will-power than at any other time.
- Don’t take your phone to the toilet/bathroom. Make this a rule you live by.
- Delete social media apps or other apps if they make it easy to access pornography.
- Talk to God openly about it, don’t hide from him like Adam & Eve did. He already knew they were naked & He knows what you’re looking at.
- You’ve got to want to stop. No, seriously. You must want to change.
- Don’t let your eyes linger or loiter. Down the street, or online.
- Stay away from Ex’s online. This is just smart in general.
- Leave your mobile stationary from time to time. Just put it down, turn the social media notifications off, they’re not that important.
- Know that you’re not the only one struggling with it.
- Discipline your hungers. Teach yourself what to hunger for by feeding your mind on good things.
Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.
Philippians 4:8
Men!
We are warriors!
Pornography will drain your strength and power.
It builds guilt & pulls down your confidence & makes you not want to take part in church ministry & give up on your calling because you feel ashamed, even though ‘nobody knows’.
“Do not give your strength to women,
Proverbs 31:3
Nor your ways to that which destroys kings.”
The devil lies to you, and sucks you in by telling you how good this is going to feel and then once you’ve done it, he sinks the boots of guilt & shame into you.
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Take away his power!
Resolve to never stop fighting this no matter what.
The reason you can, is because God will uphold you if you keep your faith.
His grace is sufficient for you.
Truly, it is.
God bless you in your walk with Him.
He knows.
And He loves you still.
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;”
Philippians 4:6
Be blessed & be a blessing, Graham.